Guilt
by justanoutlaw
Summary: Regina steps in and does the right thing with the pixie dust.
1. Chapter 1

**Prompted by queen-of-the-merry-men: "How are you even alive right now?" Snow Queen**

**Fic is Anti CS. Don't like, don't read. What should have happened in Awake.**

Regina could see the look in Emma's eyes. She was going to do it, she was really going to do it. She was going to give up the last chance to save Snow and David, just to find her pirate. She couldn't let that happen, she couldn't let them die.

With a flick of her wrist, the dust was in her hands. Emma looked up at her in shock. "Regina!"

"Your mother's heart was failing, Emma. She's delirious and doesn't know what she's saying."

"She wants me to find Hook…"

"She feels guilty for what she did all those years ago and she's letting that blind her from what's important. We'll find another way to save Hook, but I am not about to let you waste your parents' only shot at staying alive for him!"

Before Emma could do anything else, she poured the dust onto Snow and David. Two gasps could be heard and soon, their eyes had flickered open. Regina grinned and felt Henry squeezing her shoulder. They were okay.

"Charming," Snow breathed.

"Snow," he whispered in return.

The two were soon kissing and for once, Regina didn't complain. Once they pulled apart, Snow looked between Regina and then Emma, who looked conflicted. She sat up, clinging to her husband's hand.

"How…"

"I did what was right," Regina said. "We'll find another way to save Hook. Right now, you were what was important."

Snow tilted her head and for a moment, Regina worried she would yell at her. Instead, she soon found a pair of arms wrapped around her neck.

"Thank you, Regina," she whispered.

Emma, Regina and Henry left the newly reunited couple to have some alone time. They offered to take Neal, but David refused, neither wanted to miss another moment of their son's life. Regina could tell that while Emma was happy that her parents' lives were saved, that she was still worried about Hook. She promised her that by morning, they'd find a way. Emma didn't want to hear it and stormed off to her own house. Regina didn't have time to worry about her, she knew she had done the right thing.

The next morning, Regina was surprised to find Snow on her doorstep. "I thought you and David would be spending all day in bed."

"David went to go see Emma, try to sort out this whole Hook situation."

Regina nodded. "Look, I know what you told Emma…"

"No, Regina, you did the right thing." She sighed. "I…I was blinded by my guilt. All those years ago, I should've said screw everyone else and gotten her."

"It's not that simple, though. You know as well as I do that anything could've happened if you went through that door. Emma could've been in danger."

"Or we could've found a way to be a family. What I didn't realize was…last night, I was putting our family at risk again. I didn't think about Neal…or David…I let my guilt guide my heart and that wasn't okay. You made the right choice for me."

Regina softly smiled. "I know that I have a lot of guilt over how I handled Henry. As a result, I let Emma control how things went for a while. Instead of fighting for my son, I went about it in the worst way. I didn't have anyone to help me during that time, not anyone good anyway." Her mind flashed to Cora, who had convinced her that revenge was the only way.

"You saved me…again."

"Yeah, how are you even alive right now after all this time?" Regina joked, only half-heartedly.

"For someone so hell bent on having my heart…whenever you had the chance to let me go…you never did."

"We're family, Snow. I'm always going to save you, even when you don't think you need it."

The two women smiled at one another, silence filling the air yet again.

"I think Emma's…not mad, but…" Snow trailed off.

"She's…hurt. She was letting her own emotions guide her heart last night. Of course she didn't want you and David to die, but she also wants…him."

Snow sighed. "The more I look at this relationship, the more I wonder how healthy it is for her."

"I know. I think all of us have had that feeling at one point or another, but there's nothing we can do about it. Emma has to be the one to see the light. In the meantime…you've got me as a sympathetic ear."

"Thanks." Snow took her hand. "You're a good mom, Regina. I…I didn't get to raise Emma and when it comes to Neal…I just hope I can be half the mom that you are."

"You will be." Regina squeezed her hand. "Because you're actually here to do it. I'm always going to be there, to save your heart."

"And you know we've always got yours."


	2. Chapter 2

**The first part takes place before Snow Queen's talk in the first chapter and the rest is what happened after. Again, Snowing is very honest with their feelings, as is Regina. I wouldn't call this anti Emma, but she's called out on her faults and is forced to re-examine how she's allowed her loved ones to be treated.**

David laid in bed with Snow the morning after the curse had been broken and he could barely take his hands off of her. He had missed getting to kiss her and not falling asleep directly after. He missed hearing her voice in person and not just over a video recording. He had missed her beautiful eyes, that smile that melted his heart, the very one she shared with their son. They were reunited again, he had never given up hope that they would be. Even so, it was as if they were meeting again for the first time. When they had made love, it was exciting and new.

"Mmm, what are you thinking about?" Snow whispered.

"The fact that this past month seemed longer than the 28 years we were cursed," he mumbled, kissing her neck. She smiled at him for a minute, but when he pulled away, he could see her frown. "What's wrong?"

"I…I made a mistake last night, David."

He tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"When we got the pixie dust to save us…I gave it to Emma…to find Hook."

David sat up in bed a bit, studying her face. "Why?"

"I was reminded of what we did when we briefly woke up during the curse." Snow swallowed. "We should've gone for her…we should've…"

"Hey." David put a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. "I know."

"You wanted to and I…"

"You did the right thing. You lead with your brain instead of your heart. If we had gone after Emma, who knows what would've happened. I didn't know how this world worked back then, but now I do. We would've been arrested for kidnapping or abandonment if they found out who we were. We had no way of knowing that Emma was in danger."

"Still…David, I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He kissed her. "We both made a choice that day and in the end, as heartbreaking as it was, I do think it was the right one."

"Last night wasn't."

"Well…" He sighed. "No. I probably wouldn't have done the same thing in your shoes."

"I just felt so guilty. I didn't want her to be apart from him any longer than she had to be."

David paused. "What are we supposed to do when he comes back here, Snow? How am I supposed to face the man that killed my father? That lied to me about it, couldn't even be man enough to tell me to my face? This isn't like when Regina killed Leopold."

Snow knew that was true. For so long, she had viewed it as the same…and then she found out the kind of man her father was and just exactly how the marriage had gone down. Her father had been abusive and treated Regina terribly. It was the one murder that Regina didn't regret and Snow didn't fault her for that. Killian and Leopold were nowhere near the same.

"I don't know," Snow admitted. "I…I don't know how I feel about our daughter still wanting to marry the man that destroyed your childhood for no good reason."

"I get that we forgive people in this family…look at Regina…but again…"

"It is different. No matter what, she's proven that she's changed. Look at all she's done for our family and everyone else. Killian…well, about two months ago he nearly made Neal an orphan again. Now, this."

"So, what do we do?"

Snow sat up in bed, thinking for a moment. "We're honest with her. We'll help her save Hook, because that's the right thing to do. But…we don't hide how we feel anymore. We've spent so much time putting everyone's happiness above our own and worrying about hurting Emma's feelings, afraid she won't want to talk to us anymore…it's time we stop and put our feelings first."

"I couldn't agree more."

David had sat quietly while Emma searched through potions, testing things out. He didn't know what to say and he really did want Killian to be saved from Neverland. No matter what his feelings on the man, being a hero meant doing what was right, not what was easy and the right thing was to save him. Even so, he didn't know how to start the conversation with his daughter.

"If only we could find another one of those flowers," Emma mumbled.

"It seems like Fiona wiped them all out."

"Damn fairies."

"Emma…" David bit his lip. "We need to talk about what's going to happen when Hook gets back."

She turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Are you two…I mean, as far as you said the last time we talked, the wedding was off."

"That was before I found out that he didn't leave me."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

David sighed, standing up and walking over to his daughter.

"Emma, I love you. More than anything, all I want is for you to be happy. I know that your mother and I have prevented that happiness in the past…"

"Dad…"

"No, we have. We destined you to be the savior and we put you through the wardrobe, then didn't come for you when we could…we've made a lot of mistakes and I think that's what makes us want to give you whatever makes you happy. It's why we followed you to the Underworld."

Emma tilted her head. "I feel a but coming on."

"Hook…he isn't the man that we pictured for you. At first we thought maybe he had changed, maybe he was becoming a better person. But, Emma…he killed my father."

"And Regina killed Leopold."

"Because he was abusive and was going to lock her away for leaving him. You have to recognize that the two aren't the same."

"Well…okay, yes. Your father didn't deserve what happened to him, but Killian really has changed."

"Has he? Emma, you told me he was trying to burn his memories. He saw what my father's death did to me…how badly it hurt me…and when he realized it was him, he couldn't even be man enough to tell me."

"Like you and Mom didn't tell me about Maleficent."

"That was wrong," David admitted. "We know it was and that's why we came clean. Your mother told me something that night. Being a hero means doing what's right, not what's easy."

Emma's mouth opened, then closed again. "I…I can't believe you're doing this. I can't believe that you're trying to stop me from being happy."

"I want you to be happy, Emma, I do. All I want is for you to get everything that you want in life and I think for so long, your mother and I were scared to say anything because we prevented that. I just…I can't be quiet anymore. I have to be honest with you and tell you how I really feel about this engagement."

"And that is?"

David drew back a deep breath and looked into his daughter's eyes. He didn't want to hurt her, oh God, that was the last thing he wanted. He loved her more than anything and so badly, he wanted to go back to pretending everything was okay. Then he glanced over at his son. Neal would be a year old soon. One day, he'd grow up and see how Hook acted. He'd assume that was okay, that was how they wanted him to treat his future partner. He had to do this, for his family…for himself.

"It hurts that you want to marry a man that destroyed my life," he said. "A man that took my father from me, for no good reason. Who allowed me to believe that my father was a drunk, that made me feel insecure and have nightmares for my entire life. Who contributed to my farm being in poverty because only my mom could run it. To me going hungry. It hurts that you are putting your own happiness above everyone else's and that you almost let me and your mother die, just so you could be reunited with the man that has hurt us time and time again. Yet…I get it, because I have set very selfish examples for you and I wonder if it's my fault. Which is why I'm doing this, Emma. To show that this relationship…it's hurt a lot of people."

Emma stared at him in shock. He could tell that her words were sinking in, but that she wished they didn't. She wished she hadn't heard them, that he wasn't being so honest with her.

"Your father's right, Emma." Both turned around to find Snow and Regina standing in the doorway. His wife walked closer to her. "We've supported you, we've really tried to put our own feelings aside so you can be happy. Now…we have to be honest. If you marry Hook, we'll be there. We'll throw you a wedding fit for a princess. But you have to know how badly it hurts that you're making this choice. We know we've hurt you and we know that we've been selfish. And we're not making you choose between us, we just need you to know the truth."

Emma looked over at Regina. "And how do you feel about all of this?"

"I don't want him around Henry alone," Regina said. "I don't think that he's step-father material. As I told you in the Underworld, you're too good for him."

"So…all of you hate my fiancé."

"We don't hate him, Emma." Snow took her hand. "We just don't trust him and if it were up to us, he wouldn't be apart of this family. But he's your choice. You just need to know how all of us feel."

"Basically, if I choose to be happy, then I make all of you miserable."

"Are you really happy with him, though?"

"I'm his happy ending!"

"But is he yours?"

Emma pulled away from her mother, grabbing hold of the potions and her jacket.

"If none of you are going to help, I'll just do it myself."

"That's what you've gotten out of this, Miss Swan?" Regina snapped. "That we're not going to help you? We followed you down to the fucking Underworld for him, even after he tried to kill us. Your parents are willing to help you find him now and plan a damn wedding for the two of you, despite their feelings. The Emma I met wasn't this selfish. She thought of others, she actually took other people's feelings into account. Where is the woman that nearly killed me for accidentally putting Henry in a coma? Or fought for Mary Margaret, even when all signs pointed to her murderer? This man has changed you and not for the better."

Regina let out a deep breath, looking from the shocked Emma then over to her friends, before back to Emma.

"My mother killed my fiancé when she didn't approve. That's not helping. You have two parents here, willing to do anything for you. Two parents that have constantly given up their own happiness to help and save others, myself included. They have been selfish and done some evil things at times, but at the end of the day, I cannot picture better people to have in my corner. They have forgiven practically every villain, again, including me. Doesn't it speak volumes to you that they have reservations about you marrying this man?"

Emma's nostrils flared and she quickly swallowed, before storming out the door. Regina ran her fingers through her hair, shaking her head.

"Thank you, Regina," David whispered.

"I'm just sorry she's acting like this," she said, squeezing his shoulder. "I think we've all kept our mouths shut too long about him."

Snow smiled as she watched David feed Neal. It was so good to see her boys in the same place again, both awake and having fun. She hadn't shared with him that she had heard Neal's first word, she let him think he got it. After all, Emma had said "Mom" first, both times, it was only fair that he got to experience "Daddy".

Thinking of Emma brought a frown to her face. It had been a day since they aired their feelings and she hadn't come by or called. To be fair, they weren't exactly reaching out to her. They had said their peace and hoped that she would still come around to them. They loved her, they wanted to be in her life, especially after missing so much. They'd still attend the wedding and help her plan it, Killian could be apart of the family if that's what she wanted.

But at least now she really knew how they felt about it. According to Regina, they had found a way to bring Killian home, but that was all she knew. Emma wasn't exactly being open with her either after everything she said.

The door opened and Emma walked in, catching both of them off guard. They expected to see Killian with her, but she was alone.

"Hi," she said, softly. When Neal started to call her name, she walked over and lifted him out of his high chair to give him a cuddle.

"Hey," David said. "We um, heard that Hook is back in Storybrooke."

"He was. He um, left this morning."

"Oh?"

It was then, that Snow noticed that Emma's engagement ring was still missing from her finger.

"I thought about what you guys said." Emma sighed. "I didn't realize that I was hurting you…I never thought of your feelings and that wasn't okay."

Snow looked at her husband, then her. "Well, we didn't always show the best example."

"Maybe not, but Regina was right. The fact that you two were so hesitant, it says a lot." She glanced over at David. "I know we had similar upbringings and I should've taken your feelings into consideration more."

"I just want you to be happy, Em," he said. "And if that's him…I can find a way to live with it."

"I don't know what's going to make me happy, but I told him to take the voyage job with Nemo and Liam. They're going to be gone at least a year and it'll give me the space I need."

"So…you're not going to marry him?"

"No. At least not now…probably not ever. I made an appointment with Archie. I have to work on myself before I can even think about being in a relationship. I'm just…I'm really, really sorry for how I treated the two of you."

David and Snow walked over to her and wrapped their arms around her, David cradling the back of her head.

"So…it's that easy? I'm forgiven?" She asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

"We love you, Emma. We'll always forgive you."

There was a long road ahead, but they'd walk it together.


End file.
